No Encores

One from the vaults. It’s 3:30pm in the office. You’re hitting a wall and as you look up, you see your team are all in the same place. You peer past their haggard expressions to see a word engraved deep within their eyes. “Coffee”.

You lead from the front. You stand and deliver a generous offer of coffees all around. The local cafes have packed up for the day. This one is all you. You make your way to the kitchenette just to the side of office, in full view of everyone.

Your tools are a hand grinder, a kettle and an Aeropress. You’ve got 4 orders to get out the door before it turns into lord of the flies back there so you need to move. You crank that grinder like a wild man, running just this side of overheating the burrs. You set up the Aeropress for the inversion method, as is the style of the time. The water is ready, the coffee is ground and you combine them flawlessly. You go straight into grinding the next batch of beans while the brew infuses because you know you’re not even a quarter of the way done. The timer goes off and you set down your grinder. On with the top of the Aeropress, flip it and plunge it, no time to lose!

But there’s something you’ve forgotten, isn’t there?

You start to realise your error as you see the first arc of dirty coffee mixed with wet grounds fly out of the cup and streak up the wall. You didn’t put the little paper filter in. By this point you’re committed to the plunger, though. Your brain wills your arms to stop pushing but there’s so little resistance from the unfiltered screen that it’s already all over.

You look around at the destruction you have wrought. The walls, the bench, the cupboard, the fridge and your clothes are all covered in your shame. You take a deep breath, understanding that you must now diligently wipe down the kitchen in full view of your compatriots.

And then you still need to make 4 coffees.